Florence, the missing woman with postpartum depression has been on my mind a lot.
Depression is a funny thing. And by funny, I mean heartbreaking. It brings you down. Makes you feel useless and worthless. When you’re in it, you can’t imagine a world out of it.
Combine this with being a new mother. You’re not sleeping, you feel like you have no control, your hormones are going bonkers, you (and seemingly everyone around you) is questioning your ability as a mother. On top of all this, we live in a society where we don’t want help. We want to do it on our own and we live alone.
That’s a recipe for disaster. And the problem is, you never know who it’s going to hit.
Because if you have depression or postpartum depression, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Despite friends saying “just be yourself” or “get up and make yourself feel better” – that’s not a thing.
So check on those you love. And if there’s something wrong, don’t try and “fix” them, just listen.
If you’re in it, it won’t be forever. It feels like it, but you won’t. Seek help and talk.
And for the other new moms, whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c section, if you’re breastfeeding or not, if you’re cosleeping or not, if you’re going back to work or not… regardless of however you may be different from the other moms, YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER FOR YOUR BABY. And your baby deserves to have you around. Because you are great.
Today I tried to poop all by myself. Then the baby started screaming so I plopped him in his chair, so he could see me. Then the dog came in to get pet. I suppose this is my new normal.
I truly don’t understand all the hoopla over the “natural” birth. I was in labour for several hours before I got an epidural… and it sucked. Once I got one, I could actually “enjoy” my labour. Also, screw you for all your “natural” labour bullshit talk. My baby “naturally” grew inside of me for 9 months and because I had to have an emergency c section suddenly my delivery isn’t natural? Personally, I just want a healthy baby. That’s what’s natural.
If you want to go “all natural” have at ‘er! That’s wonderful! If you want an epidural, great! Who cares! Let women make their own decisions about their own bodies. I’ve seen so many moms feel guilty before, during, after their baby’s birth about pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding, parenting, etc…. let’s end the guilt and just raise our kiddos to be productive members of society! Stop wasting time on judgement.
On Friday I went to Latch On, an event talking about breastfeeding and normalizing breastfeeding.
At 11am along with women from all over, I latched my baby onto my boob. I wanted to take a beautiful brelfie (breastfeeding selfie) to post. But then I couldn’t get my camera pulled up on my phone. While trying to do that, Little Man pulled off my boob. I was nursing him on Leaky Lucy (left boob) so milk started squirting all over his face and all over me. It’s okay, I’m a strong, confident breastfeeding mother… I’ll switch him to the other side and get a photo there. Except my phone still won’t pull up my camera and Normal Norm (right boob) keeps thwacking my boy in the face so he’s getting frustrated.
Anyway, this is the only photo I got from the event, after I was done nursing.
So, if you see a woman breastfeeding without a cover, please think to yourself, “hey isn’t that wonderful! She’s feeding her baby!” Not “wow, she’s sure making a point.” Because whether I’m nursing him on Lucy or Norm it’s just so much more complicated to cover up (I couldn’t even take one flippin picture!).
Breastfeeding is not easy. You worry about latch, supply, plugged ducts, mastitis, engorgement… the list goes on and on. So if a woman is successfully breastfeeding out and about… give her a big smile and tell her she’s doing a great job.